The Delivery by L.A. Detwiler

The Delivery by L.A. Detwiler

Author:L.A. Detwiler [Detwiler, L.A.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: L.A. Detwiler
Published: 2022-02-01T07:00:00+00:00


Chapter Seventeen

“I miss you. I miss who we used to be together.”

He finally whispers the words into my hair as he holds me on the floor. We stay like this for a long time, my heart hurting from all of the pain of the past few weeks, few years really. How did we lose who we were?

Eventually, when I am out of tears and anxiety, I turn over to look into the eyes of the man who feels more like a stranger. I realize a hard truth: I miss him, too. Despite all of the questions, all of the suspicions, I long for the man who looked into my eyes on that dock, who promised me a future of companionship and support. I long for us—the real us, strong and tenacious. Two hands held together by the glue of our bond. Two hearts ready to walk through flames to save each other.

He stands up. I follow suit. He takes my hand in his and leads me back to our bedroom. His movements are gentle, familiar. This simple act tears down the perspective he’s a monster, a vision I’ve been building for weeks. I recognize as I follow him to our room how much I missed him, how much I needed physical reassurance all would be okay, even if it is a lie. We’ve told so many lies—to each other, to ourselves, to the world around us.

It doesn’t matter right now. For a moment, I am whole, I am his, I am sure. For right now, I push aside everything I know, all the secrets uncovered. It’s like a defense mechanism my body throws up; just pretend it’s the old times. Make believe nothing’s changed. Let him in, let yourself be his again. I obey the whims of my heart.

He strips me down. I permit him. He kisses me, and my heart races. I let him lay me down on our bed, the sheets that typically are a wall between us. Now, they melt away, our two bodies all that matters. The silky satin pillowcase caresses my cheek as his lips work their way over my neck. Just the right spot.

For a while, I dissolve into him, forgetting everything. It feels so good to be held by him, to be loved by him. He makes me forget, which is probably what he wants. He helps black it all out, redacted from our story and covered up with the feelings of love that still surge for him in my heart.

And then, after our lovemaking that makes me flash back to how it used to be in the old days, he tucks my hair behind my ear. The moonlight shining in through our window, he leans in and kisses the tip of my nose.

“I’m just so worried about you, Ev. You haven’t been yourself. I miss you so much. You’ve been scaring me, you know.”

A frost descends from the ceiling and blankets my body in a frozen tomb. I am breathless and silent as I let the words float through my veins and freeze my once-warm heart.



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